The Choice...

About 6 weeks ago, God started stirring me up, and it hasn't stopped since then. An honest response is that it’s extremely u n c o m f o r t a b l e, but I’d much rather be here in the mess, than not growing and changing with Him. 

Zack, our speaker that week, started with this video, please please give it a watch:

{ Looking for a Savior - United Pursuit }

I don’t have any words for the beauty that is in those lyrics. All I can say is that it’s my heart cry for myself, my community, my nations, and my world. 

One of the big journeys that began a few weeks back, got started with a revelation of some yucky stuff - Pride - the disagreement of truth; the opposite of humility, which is agreement with God. It’s the birthplace of judgement. It’s ugly. God hates it. And it was in my heart. 

How could I tell? Often times to see what’s really going on in your heart, all you have to do is look at your reactions to situations. In my reactions I could see resentment, judgment, and bitterness towards people when they did something I deemed wrong. One stark example that God kept reminding me of, was how I viewed the men who picked up the prostitutes on the street we live on. I don’t agree with it at all, but in the place where I only had hatred, disgust, and anger, I was left with a question: What does Jesus feel towards these men? I’m completely confident that the answer is love. My reaction to an ‘enemy’ shows exactly how much Jesus I have in my heart, and in that instance, I didn’t have very much. I’m not using this example to start a debate around sin and the appropriate responses, rather, this was something that God showed me to reveal the sin in my own heart. The dangerous thing about pride is that it tells you that you don’t have any. Isn’t that funny! But in that place where pride would want to blind me to my own ugliness, Holy Spirit gently comes in and reveals t r u t h and brings c o r r e c t i o n. 

Here’s the kicker though - The pride I saw in my heart doesn’t define who I am or who I will be. Why? Because the bible shows me that pride never belonged there. It reveals to me my original design and shows me how God comes in and takes out the ugly and restores my heart. He corrects us - returns us to our original intent, which is holy and blameless. 

You may think we’re at the full circle picture now, everything is settled, but buckle up buttercup, we’re just getting started! 

Discovering pride and repenting from it was step one, realizing it was never part of my design is the second step, but deciding that I’m going to live out of that place of original design, and consciously choosing is every morning is step three. Everyday, I get to choose whether to live in the Kingdom of light or the Kingdom of darkness, the Kingdom of joy, humility, holiness, truth, obedience, love, or the Kingdom of judgement, fear, hatred, death, jealousy, bitterness, the Kingdom of God or the Kingdom of satan. Choosing to live in the Kingdom of light is a step I will have to take every single day. Even when I’m tired, even when I’ve been hurt, even when I’m at my lowest of lows. I will choose to be committed to love. Everyday, in everything I do, I need to be thinking - how am I advancing the Kingdom of God? Am I living out what Jesus lived out? Even simpler than that - Am I loving? I could say I hope the answer is yes but ‘hope’ makes it sound like it’s a chance thing, when really I have control, I get to choose. So, with all that I’ve learned behind me and more journeying in front of me - I choose y e s.

Here are some photos of what the September Discipleship Training School (DTS) that I'm currently staffing has been up to!